I have not written a blog post for the last year (save the remaining nine days), because I did not know what to write. I was in a time of transition and I was wary that I might post something that I would disagree with only months later. Now that I have my feet on the ground and I'm heading in a definite and positive direction I am excited to begin sharing my thoughts once again.
In my past, especially during this hugely transitional phase, I couldn't see how or more importantly why Heavenly Father was working in my life. I often felt like my life was a giant hedge maze. As if God created this intricate pathway for which only he had the secret map and I was just one of many trying to make it to the end without freaking out. I vaguely remembered the beginning and the end, but after awhile I would feel confused, frustrated, alone and I'd walk in circles, attempt to jump high enough to see over the hedge, and follow other maze goers who looked like they knew what they were doing to no avail. And then finally I would make a tiny bit of progress and celebrate that small accomplishment with all my soul. And then the process would repeat...lost again.
But when I read this passage in Doctrine and Covenants, it made sense and the the feelings and promptings from the Holy Spirit I had begun to feel were confirmed through scripture.
"For God doth not walk in crooked paths, neither doth he turn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his course is one eternal round." D&C 3:2
I know now more than ever that our Heavenly Father is a God of order and that although many times the full plan or reasons for pieces of our lives don't make sense, the big picture is always, always clear. Thanks to modern day prophets and the scriptures, I know why I am here, why we are here. I know how I am supposed to live and what God asks and expects. I know that sometimes I'll make mistakes and sometimes I won't listen, but I know that because I have taken on the covenant of baptism, I have access to the Holy Spirit and can communicate constantly with our Heavenly Father, who helps me through this life and gifts me with blessings as I am ready and ask.
The other side of this coin is what Heavenly Father asks of us.
"...I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." 1 Nephi 3:7
Heavenly Father asks us to do big things and important things. Even though they usually feel small and trivial, following the commandments and listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and of equal if not greater importance, acting upon the words, feelings and thoughts we receive from our loving father, impacts our eternity beyond comprehension.
"Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day." D&C 4:2
This afternoon during our Relief Society meeting, our discussion turned to talking about how we live our lives on earth to be prepared for the day when we leave this life and at peace with the work we have done and the contributions we will leave behind. It is important to live your life as if you will later watch it on TV. I don't think we should live our lives to "look good," but if you can imagine existing in heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, having the full knowledge of the Gospel and all eternal truths, will you want to see the actions you are taking now and the efforts you made, or lack thereof?